Confession: I'm a Card Hoarder

I don't know about you, but I struggle with sentimentality and attaching value to objects big and small. If someone gives me something I feel a strong need to keep it, even if I ultimately don't really even want it. 

The little folded pieces of card stock are the worst for me. I for some reason feel that if someone spent the money on a card for me that I should keep it because it has some sort of sentimental value or at the least I don't want to be wasteful.

Honestly, I don't really understand cards. They are generally a lot of money and people don't even tend to write anything meaningful in them, they just sign their names and rely on the sappy Hallmark/card maker language. 

Don't get me wrong I love getting one that has a message in it and is out of the blue. I also really like when they come in the mail, because getting mail is exciting. 


But why do we feel the need to keep cards? Especially the ones with no special or personalized message? I think it's two-fold:

1. More than likely the person who gave it to us means something to us, so we     automatically give value to the piece of paper; and
2. We don't want to feel wasteful. When I know someone spent $4 on a card I feel pretty bad opening it, reading it, and then throwing it away. It's like throwing away money or a gift and I feel a little guilty. I at least feel like I should reuse the cards for something. (Which I did for awhile and made little jewelry boxes, that's probably why I have so many).

Our recycling tonight is going to look like the card aisle at the grocery store because I finally decided to let go. I had piles of cards stored up in a box in my craft room. Mind you I never took them out and never looked through them, but they were there and it made me feel better because I didn't feel like I was being wasteful. Instead I was being respectful and keeping the lovely cards people had sent me. 


But guess what?

Keeping a pile of cards in a box is still wasteful. It's wasting space both physically and in your head. Also, they can be recycled which actually makes them useful. 


My suggestions for getting rid of cards and deciding if you should keep a few:

*Note: you could just chuck them all and let it go. I chose to keep a few because I do like to have reminders of when people loved on me. 

• Is there a special handwritten note in the card? If my card had a special note in it and was more than a signature then I likely kept it. This actually did not amount to many cards. I got rid of most of the ones that were just signatures. (Except as noted below).

• Is the card from someone you love that is not longer with you. I made piles of my cards that were from grandparents, relatives, or friends that are deceased, even if the card had just a signature. I then decided to keep one card from that person as a reminder of them. Obviously I can remember them without a card but there is just something about seeing their handwriting. 

• I kept cards from people who are really close to me that had meaning. I had notes from when I was away at college that my mom and grandparents sent to me just to lift me up. I kept those because they are good reminders of my support system and that others have my back. I also kept a couple cards from my dad because he doesn't tend to send them and a couple are nice to have. 

• Cards from my spouse. I kept all cards from my husband from when we were dating and once we were married. All of them had a little note to me in them and reminded me of our lives at the time.

If the cards didn't fit in the above categories they went in the recycling. Believe me this greatly reduced what I kept. Our recycling bin is half full with cards.


This, for now, is my form of minimalism. Not getting rid of everything but reducing. I am a sentimental person and I think we could all use reminders of when people sent us notes letting us know they are thinking about us. Re-reading old notes can really brighten a bad day. The cards I decided to keep do have real value to me. It's up to you to decide which ones really have value to you. 

If you decide to not keep any, it's not a bad thing. Minimalism is about finding your own path and what works for you. It's about changing your mindset to be less controlled by objects. It doesn't mean you get rid of everything, but it does mean you honestly assess what you have and what you really need.

Minimalism?

What is minimalism? 

It's not just about de-cluttering and getting rid of unnecessary objects. It is about simplifying life. Getting rid of all unnecessary things in life that don't add any value but instead tend to distract, stress, and waste your time. This can include activities, relationships, jobs, as well as objects. It is all encompassing. 

For me, it's about learning to say yes to things that get me to my goals and no to things that don't help further my life's purpose or journey. This can look different for each person. Here are some examples:



Objects
Objects do weigh me down. They contribute to my anxiety and add a level of worry. I find I worry about items that I never necessarily needed in the first place. I worry something will happen to my "stuff." I also let it weigh on my mind because I can always think of something that needs organizing or cleaning. (Not getting rid of things, mind you, but putting them in places where I think they will be easier to find or I will keep cleaner). In the end, the organizing is just a futile effort and needs re-done again and again and adds only a moment of value. 

While I have tried to get rid of unnecessary items in the past I would get stressed out because I would go into a scarcity mindset or a "I bet I can use that later" mindset. I generally shut down at this point and give up. So for me, minimalism is changing my mindset and getting over the scarcity and realizing life offers an abundance and God hasn't let me down yet in providing the basics. Also it's about realizing that while maybe I could find a use for something, it's not really worth hanging on to for many years because, unless its super unique, you can probably find it or buy it later if you really need it. It's also accepting that your needs change and you can let go of items that no longer fit your needs.

Jobs/Career
My journey has required me to begin figuring out what I want my career to look like over the last couple of years. I went to law school and felt that I should be using that degree to help people, when ultimately I realized I don't like the traditional practice of law all that much. So I've been spending time trying to figure out what really works for me based on my values and the outline of how I want to be utilizing my time. Sometimes you have no other choice to but to do the job you are in, but ultimately if you want to live a life that is fulfilled and uses your talents, you should be working toward figuring out what you really want out of life and how to make it happen. For me, I think it's learning to say no to the things that don't get me to my goals and that I really have no interest in and focusing on the things that help me fully use my talents, skill set, and values. It's letting go of "this is how it should be" and the "have tos" and embracing the "it can be different" and "this fits better."

Activities
This isn't just about jobs though. Simplifying your life is about how you spend your time. What activities are you doing and do they get you were you want to go? Do you spend five hours a day on Facebook and four hours watching TV? While those activities aren't bad in moderation, spending that much time is really distracting us all from what we really want to do with our lives; unless you have some weird goal of being a Facebook stalker or expert in other peoples lives. I am working to become more intentional with my time. I'm starting to ask myself with activities, food, etc. "does this get me where I want to go?"

Relationships
It seems sad and crazy that you may need to change your relationships and possibly even eliminate a few if you can. But you need to take a hard look at who in your life is bringing you down, adding negativity, not inspiring you, and sucking up your time. Also, look at who lifts you up and encourage you. Now, you can't walk away from everybody, but you should try to maximize your relationships with the positive, uplifting people and minimize your time with the negative, discouraging people. Our relationships, and the people around us strongly impact what we do and how hard we work toward our goals. Unnecessary or unhealthy relationships cause a lot of stress. Try to find ways to improve unhealthy relationships or if nothing can be done, and you can, it could be time to walk away. Much of this can start with you and a mindset change. Learn about boundaries and start drawing some lines. 


Minimalism for me is an overall mindset change. Take it back to the basics. Focus on the positive and get rid of mental blocks that tell you there isn't enough in life and you have to hoard objects, experiences, and relationships just in case. Life does offer us enough and even more if we can learn to let go. 

Time Flies

Wow! I started thinking this way all the way back in 2013, and yet, I'm just now really getting into it and understanding it. (It being minimalism).It's crazy how an idea can take hold of us and yet take so long for us to really implement and get it. I re-read my "Beginning" post and realize that many of the same thoughts and same reasons still hold true for me today in my path of minimizing.

But, some things have changed. Primarily the location in which we store our stuff, and hopefully a couple years has given me a more mature perspective.

We moved in 2014 into a new house and left the old house that was beginning to make me feel defeated; granted I'm not sure it was completely the house, but other things happening in life - though I'm sure the house wasn't helping because the location made my allergies crazy.

I'd like to say that we remedied my house concerns completely and moved into one of those crazy tiny houses, but that is not the case. We still have more room than we need, but that's okay, sometimes to be in the location you want you can only go so small. We still have three bedrooms, and gained a half bath, a partially finished basement and a separate office space. But it is more updated and I don't feel like we have the same amount of work, especially since our yard is smaller.

The idea of minimalism stayed with me through and after our move though. I realize looking back that it would have been beneficial to do this before our move. Only by the luck of the moving company screwing up did we manage to get all of our items moved. They were supposed to send a crew that could move the baby grand and didn't. So almost everything but the piano went into that large moving truck. Unfortunately once the first truck was full we still had a little pile left. Luckily since they had to send another truck and crew for the piano we were able to get the rest. I'm pretty sure we still had a car full too.

Looking back, that is really sad to me. We are two people. Why in the world did we/do we need that much stuff? It's so easy to bring stuff in and yet so hard to let it go. (Think about it, even the stupid little free things you receive are often hard to get rid of because you don't want to be wasteful, even though you never asked for the item).

With a job change I've had a little more time to be home  to think about and tackle our "stuff." At first I found myself rearranging and "organizing." I thought I really loved to organize but I realize it just gets messy again, so like the house projects at the previous house, I feel like I never get anywhere. But I'd get so stressed out and frustrated when I thought of letting anything go. I couldn't truly wrap my mindset around it, so I'd just rearrange things.

After talking to a good friend who is on the path of minimalism and reading a book she suggested by The Minimalists, I've finally got the motivation to give it a good try. I'm finally getting the change of mindset I need to move beyond the "stuff."

So, I'm picking up this blog again to detail my progress, offer up my thoughts, offer up my struggles and holdups, and show my successes to hopefully help someone else that is on the verge and just needs a push for a mindset change.

Now, honestly, I have several blogs, and I'm not great at consistently publishing and keeping up with them, so don't expect extremely consistent posts, or you'll just be disappointed - and I don't want that. However, when I get through a project or inspiration hits I will put it right here and hopefully it will help you out. And if you want to talk about what being a minimalist means, get in touch with me and I'll probably just direct you to the book my friend recommended to me. : )

First Steps-Declutter a.k.a. Get Rid of That Junk!

I have a hard time getting rid of things because I always think what if I could have a use for that later or I just don't want to be wasteful. And no, mom, I am not a hoarder. : ) 

My house is actually pretty neat its just when you get right down to it and open the doors and closets we have more than we need for two people. I have a lot of unused stuff that takes up space and just collects dust. I figure there are two steps to weeding some of this out:

1) Getting the motivation to tackle it
2) Letting go - either giving it away, selling it, or realizing it's not worth the energy
3) Also knowing that just because you have the space doesn't mean you have to keep it filled

My first step in simplifying is to get rid of the excess "stuff."

While watching TV in the evenings this week I have taken the time to pull out drawers and clean through them. Two-fold help in the simplification process: wasting less time and cleaning out.

It's somewhat overwhelming but it feels so good when I get a drawer cleaned out and can throw some stuff away! It's going to be a slow process, but at least it's progressing.

How do you mentally prepare yourself for cleaning through stuff? Any tricks you use or thought processes to help you let go?