It almost makes me sad to say, but I am going to lose my gold card status. If you know what I'm talking about, you may be a Starbucks addict, like I used to be. It's kind of a status symbol or cultural icon to go to Starbucks right, and get the white cup with the green symbol, full of caffeine to keep you on track?
Now, I actually have nothing against Starbucks and this post isn't even specifically about them. It's about the reward cards and membership cards that keep us coming back for more. The extras we get in the mail that entice us to consume more. The memberships that gain a type of sentimental status and in a way define us.
Come on in and get a deal!
Do you realize how much those little cards and coupons and rewards affect your spending?
I'm beginning to and it is really hard to let go.
A year ago I remember thinking, "Oh no! I have to get to Starbucks fifteen more times, or get fifteen more drinks by August so I can keep my gold status." Never mind that I didn't really love Starbucks all that much anymore. I didn't want to get the sugar packed, expensive lattes and frappuccinos on a regular basis and their coffee wasn't my favorite anymore. If I buy coffee out I personally prefer Tim Horton's. It's cheaper and I can get a free flavor shot, and most importantly I like the flavor better. But guess what, Tim Horton's doesn't have a rewards card convincing me that I need to come back again and again. I worked hard (ahem...spent a lot of money to get that gold rewards card).
I did keep my status last year, but this year, forget it. If I don't reach gold status will my heart be broken? Will I lose some status level in life? In some weird sentimental part of my brain it feels that way. But I'm getting over it and being realistic. I don't even love it anymore so why would I worry about my store "status" level.
I've had the same issue, and I'm sure you have to, with other stores. At one point I was a VS VIP. (Mainly because my husband worked there and we had a good discount). I lost that one last year. It hurt a little.
I loved seeing that I was a long-term member of AAA for my car. I dropped that one because I didn't want to spend the money and my insurance offered the same help. But it stung a little... because I'm no longer an x year member.
How about professional organizations? I've been a member of the Ohio State Bar Association since I graduated law school. I liked seeing my renewal card with how many years I was a member. I dropped it this year, because without practicing full-time it was too expensive and not worth it. But it stung a little too.
Think about it. How many times have you received a discount coupon in the mail from a store you frequent or a percentage off that expires at a certain time? It's exciting! Even if you don't really need to buy anything you start rattling through your brain thinking about what you could potentially need to buy because, hey, you've got the discount, might as well take advantage of it right?
If I get a Kohl's 30% off in the mail, you better believe I start thinking about what I could possibly need, even if right before getting the mail I felt content and had nothing on my shopping list. I have a free $10 off at a store that expires today and it's almost driving me nuts thinking about not using it. It's tempting to jump in the car and drive to the mall and see what I can find.
These rewards cards, memberships, coupons, and discounts for being loyal customers are addicting and cause unnecessary spending and unnecessary accumulation of stuff. Sure you may get a great deal, but if you don't really need it, or necessarily want it, in the first place, guess what? It's not a great deal.
I'm not saying these cards, memberships, etc. don't have a place. If you really are frequently shopping for things you actually need and get discounts so you save money, go for it. If you take people to coffee for your business, take advantage of free drink offers. If you need a membership for your profession and you actually use it, then by all means carry on.
However, sit back and analyze your spending habits and be honest with yourself. Are you spending more money on things you do not need just because of the "status" or just because a discount came in the mail?
Use and control the cards and rewards to your benefit. Don't let the rewards and cards control you. More importantly, don't let them define you. You are not your reward/store status!
What is minimalism?
It's not just about de-cluttering and getting rid of unnecessary objects. It is about simplifying life. Getting rid of all unnecessary things in life that don't add any value but instead tend to distract, stress, and waste your time. This can include activities, relationships, jobs, as well as objects. It is all encompassing.
For me, it's about learning to say yes to things that get me to my goals and no to things that don't help further my life's purpose or journey. This can look different for each person. Here are some examples:
Objects
Objects do weigh me down. They contribute to my anxiety and add a level of worry. I find I worry about items that I never necessarily needed in the first place. I worry something will happen to my "stuff." I also let it weigh on my mind because I can always think of something that needs organizing or cleaning. (Not getting rid of things, mind you, but putting them in places where I think they will be easier to find or I will keep cleaner). In the end, the organizing is just a futile effort and needs re-done again and again and adds only a moment of value.
While I have tried to get rid of unnecessary items in the past I would get stressed out because I would go into a scarcity mindset or a "I bet I can use that later" mindset. I generally shut down at this point and give up. So for me, minimalism is changing my mindset and getting over the scarcity and realizing life offers an abundance and God hasn't let me down yet in providing the basics. Also it's about realizing that while maybe I could find a use for something, it's not really worth hanging on to for many years because, unless its super unique, you can probably find it or buy it later if you really need it. It's also accepting that your needs change and you can let go of items that no longer fit your needs.
Jobs/Career
My journey has required me to begin figuring out what I want my career to look like over the last couple of years. I went to law school and felt that I should be using that degree to help people, when ultimately I realized I don't like the traditional practice of law all that much. So I've been spending time trying to figure out what really works for me based on my values and the outline of how I want to be utilizing my time. Sometimes you have no other choice to but to do the job you are in, but ultimately if you want to live a life that is fulfilled and uses your talents, you should be working toward figuring out what you really want out of life and how to make it happen. For me, I think it's learning to say no to the things that don't get me to my goals and that I really have no interest in and focusing on the things that help me fully use my talents, skill set, and values. It's letting go of "this is how it should be" and the "have tos" and embracing the "it can be different" and "this fits better."
Activities
This isn't just about jobs though. Simplifying your life is about how you spend your time. What activities are you doing and do they get you were you want to go? Do you spend five hours a day on Facebook and four hours watching TV? While those activities aren't bad in moderation, spending that much time is really distracting us all from what we really want to do with our lives; unless you have some weird goal of being a Facebook stalker or expert in other peoples lives. I am working to become more intentional with my time. I'm starting to ask myself with activities, food, etc. "does this get me where I want to go?"
Relationships
It seems sad and crazy that you may need to change your relationships and possibly even eliminate a few if you can. But you need to take a hard look at who in your life is bringing you down, adding negativity, not inspiring you, and sucking up your time. Also, look at who lifts you up and encourage you. Now, you can't walk away from everybody, but you should try to maximize your relationships with the positive, uplifting people and minimize your time with the negative, discouraging people. Our relationships, and the people around us strongly impact what we do and how hard we work toward our goals. Unnecessary or unhealthy relationships cause a lot of stress. Try to find ways to improve unhealthy relationships or if nothing can be done, and you can, it could be time to walk away. Much of this can start with you and a mindset change. Learn about boundaries and start drawing some lines.
Minimalism for me is an overall mindset change. Take it back to the basics. Focus on the positive and get rid of mental blocks that tell you there isn't enough in life and you have to hoard objects, experiences, and relationships just in case. Life does offer us enough and even more if we can learn to let go.
I have a hard time getting rid of things because I always think what if I could have a use for that later or I just don't want to be wasteful. And no, mom, I am not a hoarder. : )
My house is actually pretty neat its just when you get right down to it and open the doors and closets we have more than we need for two people. I have a lot of unused stuff that takes up space and just collects dust. I figure there are two steps to weeding some of this out:
1) Getting the motivation to tackle it
2) Letting go - either giving it away, selling it, or realizing it's not worth the energy
3) Also knowing that just because you have the space doesn't mean you have to keep it filled
My first step in simplifying is to get rid of the excess "stuff."
While watching TV in the evenings this week I have taken the time to pull out drawers and clean through them. Two-fold help in the simplification process: wasting less time and cleaning out.
It's somewhat overwhelming but it feels so good when I get a drawer cleaned out and can throw some stuff away! It's going to be a slow process, but at least it's progressing.
How do you mentally prepare yourself for cleaning through stuff? Any tricks you use or thought processes to help you let go?
