Less is More : Losing My Gold Status

Less is More : Losing My Gold Status: It almost makes me sad to say, but I am going to lose my gold card status. If you know what I'm talking about, you may be a Starbucks...

Losing My Gold Status

It almost makes me sad to say, but I am going to lose my gold card status. If you know what I'm talking about, you may be a Starbucks addict, like I used to be. It's kind of a status symbol or cultural icon to go to Starbucks right, and get the white cup with the green symbol, full of caffeine to keep you on track?

Now, I actually have nothing against Starbucks and this post isn't even specifically about them. It's about the reward cards and membership cards that keep us coming back for more. The extras we get in the mail that entice us to consume more. The memberships that gain a type of sentimental status and in a way define us. 

Come on in and get a deal!

Do you realize how much those little cards and coupons and rewards affect your spending? 

I'm beginning to and it is really hard to let go. 

A year ago I remember thinking, "Oh no! I have to get to Starbucks fifteen more times, or get fifteen more drinks by August so I can keep my gold status." Never mind that I didn't really love Starbucks all that much anymore. I didn't want to get the sugar packed, expensive lattes and frappuccinos on a regular basis and their coffee wasn't my favorite anymore. If I buy coffee out I personally prefer Tim Horton's. It's cheaper and I can get a free flavor shot, and most importantly I like the flavor better. But guess what, Tim Horton's doesn't have a rewards card convincing me that I need to come back again and again. I worked hard (ahem...spent a lot of money to get that gold rewards card). 

I did keep my status last year, but this year, forget it. If I don't reach gold status will my heart be broken? Will I lose some status level in life? In some weird sentimental part of my brain it feels that way. But I'm getting over it and being realistic. I don't even love it anymore so why would I worry about my store "status" level. 

I've had the same issue, and I'm sure you have to, with other stores. At one point I was a VS VIP. (Mainly because my husband worked there and we had a good discount). I lost that one last year. It hurt a little.

I loved seeing that I was a long-term member of AAA for my car. I dropped that one because I didn't want to spend the money and my insurance offered the same help. But it stung a little... because I'm no longer an x year member. 

How about professional organizations? I've been a member of the Ohio State Bar Association since I graduated law school. I liked seeing my renewal card with how many years I was a member. I dropped it this year, because without practicing full-time it was too expensive and not worth it. But it stung a little too. 

Think about it. How many times have you received a discount coupon in the mail from a store you frequent or a percentage off that expires at a certain time? It's exciting! Even if you don't really need to buy anything you start rattling through your brain thinking about what you could potentially need to buy because, hey, you've got the discount, might as well take advantage of it right?

If I get a Kohl's 30% off in the mail, you better believe I start thinking about what I could possibly need, even if right before getting the mail I felt content and had nothing on my shopping list. I have a free $10 off at a store that expires today and it's almost driving me nuts thinking about not using it. It's tempting to jump in the car and drive to the mall and see what I can find. 

These rewards cards, memberships, coupons, and discounts for being loyal customers are addicting and cause unnecessary spending and unnecessary accumulation of stuff. Sure you may get a great deal, but if you don't really need it, or necessarily want it, in the first place, guess what? It's not a great deal. 

I'm not saying these cards, memberships, etc. don't have a place. If you really are frequently shopping for things you actually need and get discounts so you save money, go for it. If you take people to coffee for your business, take advantage of free drink offers. If you need a membership for your profession and you actually use it, then by all means carry on. 

However, sit back and analyze your spending habits and be honest with yourself. Are you spending more money on things you do not need just because of the "status" or just because a discount came in the mail? 

Use and control the cards and rewards to your benefit. Don't let the rewards and cards control you. More importantly, don't let them define you. You are not your reward/store status!

Confession: I'm a Card Hoarder

I don't know about you, but I struggle with sentimentality and attaching value to objects big and small. If someone gives me something I feel a strong need to keep it, even if I ultimately don't really even want it. 

The little folded pieces of card stock are the worst for me. I for some reason feel that if someone spent the money on a card for me that I should keep it because it has some sort of sentimental value or at the least I don't want to be wasteful.

Honestly, I don't really understand cards. They are generally a lot of money and people don't even tend to write anything meaningful in them, they just sign their names and rely on the sappy Hallmark/card maker language. 

Don't get me wrong I love getting one that has a message in it and is out of the blue. I also really like when they come in the mail, because getting mail is exciting. 


But why do we feel the need to keep cards? Especially the ones with no special or personalized message? I think it's two-fold:

1. More than likely the person who gave it to us means something to us, so we     automatically give value to the piece of paper; and
2. We don't want to feel wasteful. When I know someone spent $4 on a card I feel pretty bad opening it, reading it, and then throwing it away. It's like throwing away money or a gift and I feel a little guilty. I at least feel like I should reuse the cards for something. (Which I did for awhile and made little jewelry boxes, that's probably why I have so many).

Our recycling tonight is going to look like the card aisle at the grocery store because I finally decided to let go. I had piles of cards stored up in a box in my craft room. Mind you I never took them out and never looked through them, but they were there and it made me feel better because I didn't feel like I was being wasteful. Instead I was being respectful and keeping the lovely cards people had sent me. 


But guess what?

Keeping a pile of cards in a box is still wasteful. It's wasting space both physically and in your head. Also, they can be recycled which actually makes them useful. 


My suggestions for getting rid of cards and deciding if you should keep a few:

*Note: you could just chuck them all and let it go. I chose to keep a few because I do like to have reminders of when people loved on me. 

• Is there a special handwritten note in the card? If my card had a special note in it and was more than a signature then I likely kept it. This actually did not amount to many cards. I got rid of most of the ones that were just signatures. (Except as noted below).

• Is the card from someone you love that is not longer with you. I made piles of my cards that were from grandparents, relatives, or friends that are deceased, even if the card had just a signature. I then decided to keep one card from that person as a reminder of them. Obviously I can remember them without a card but there is just something about seeing their handwriting. 

• I kept cards from people who are really close to me that had meaning. I had notes from when I was away at college that my mom and grandparents sent to me just to lift me up. I kept those because they are good reminders of my support system and that others have my back. I also kept a couple cards from my dad because he doesn't tend to send them and a couple are nice to have. 

• Cards from my spouse. I kept all cards from my husband from when we were dating and once we were married. All of them had a little note to me in them and reminded me of our lives at the time.

If the cards didn't fit in the above categories they went in the recycling. Believe me this greatly reduced what I kept. Our recycling bin is half full with cards.


This, for now, is my form of minimalism. Not getting rid of everything but reducing. I am a sentimental person and I think we could all use reminders of when people sent us notes letting us know they are thinking about us. Re-reading old notes can really brighten a bad day. The cards I decided to keep do have real value to me. It's up to you to decide which ones really have value to you. 

If you decide to not keep any, it's not a bad thing. Minimalism is about finding your own path and what works for you. It's about changing your mindset to be less controlled by objects. It doesn't mean you get rid of everything, but it does mean you honestly assess what you have and what you really need.

Minimalism?

What is minimalism? 

It's not just about de-cluttering and getting rid of unnecessary objects. It is about simplifying life. Getting rid of all unnecessary things in life that don't add any value but instead tend to distract, stress, and waste your time. This can include activities, relationships, jobs, as well as objects. It is all encompassing. 

For me, it's about learning to say yes to things that get me to my goals and no to things that don't help further my life's purpose or journey. This can look different for each person. Here are some examples:



Objects
Objects do weigh me down. They contribute to my anxiety and add a level of worry. I find I worry about items that I never necessarily needed in the first place. I worry something will happen to my "stuff." I also let it weigh on my mind because I can always think of something that needs organizing or cleaning. (Not getting rid of things, mind you, but putting them in places where I think they will be easier to find or I will keep cleaner). In the end, the organizing is just a futile effort and needs re-done again and again and adds only a moment of value. 

While I have tried to get rid of unnecessary items in the past I would get stressed out because I would go into a scarcity mindset or a "I bet I can use that later" mindset. I generally shut down at this point and give up. So for me, minimalism is changing my mindset and getting over the scarcity and realizing life offers an abundance and God hasn't let me down yet in providing the basics. Also it's about realizing that while maybe I could find a use for something, it's not really worth hanging on to for many years because, unless its super unique, you can probably find it or buy it later if you really need it. It's also accepting that your needs change and you can let go of items that no longer fit your needs.

Jobs/Career
My journey has required me to begin figuring out what I want my career to look like over the last couple of years. I went to law school and felt that I should be using that degree to help people, when ultimately I realized I don't like the traditional practice of law all that much. So I've been spending time trying to figure out what really works for me based on my values and the outline of how I want to be utilizing my time. Sometimes you have no other choice to but to do the job you are in, but ultimately if you want to live a life that is fulfilled and uses your talents, you should be working toward figuring out what you really want out of life and how to make it happen. For me, I think it's learning to say no to the things that don't get me to my goals and that I really have no interest in and focusing on the things that help me fully use my talents, skill set, and values. It's letting go of "this is how it should be" and the "have tos" and embracing the "it can be different" and "this fits better."

Activities
This isn't just about jobs though. Simplifying your life is about how you spend your time. What activities are you doing and do they get you were you want to go? Do you spend five hours a day on Facebook and four hours watching TV? While those activities aren't bad in moderation, spending that much time is really distracting us all from what we really want to do with our lives; unless you have some weird goal of being a Facebook stalker or expert in other peoples lives. I am working to become more intentional with my time. I'm starting to ask myself with activities, food, etc. "does this get me where I want to go?"

Relationships
It seems sad and crazy that you may need to change your relationships and possibly even eliminate a few if you can. But you need to take a hard look at who in your life is bringing you down, adding negativity, not inspiring you, and sucking up your time. Also, look at who lifts you up and encourage you. Now, you can't walk away from everybody, but you should try to maximize your relationships with the positive, uplifting people and minimize your time with the negative, discouraging people. Our relationships, and the people around us strongly impact what we do and how hard we work toward our goals. Unnecessary or unhealthy relationships cause a lot of stress. Try to find ways to improve unhealthy relationships or if nothing can be done, and you can, it could be time to walk away. Much of this can start with you and a mindset change. Learn about boundaries and start drawing some lines. 


Minimalism for me is an overall mindset change. Take it back to the basics. Focus on the positive and get rid of mental blocks that tell you there isn't enough in life and you have to hoard objects, experiences, and relationships just in case. Life does offer us enough and even more if we can learn to let go. 

The Junk Drawer

I'm pretty sure we all have a junk drawer. You know, the one in your kitchen, or maybe your office, that holds all of the miscellaneous items you just don't know what else to do with. It probably contains items you use decently often like scissors, but if it's like mine it probably also has batteries, rubber bands, birthday candles, matches, small manuals, tape, screws, leftover pieces from small diy projects, corks, bag clips, paint chips, etc. 

This wasn't the first project I tackled but I did decide to clean it up today. Not only did we have one junk drawer in the kitchen, we had two! I pulled everything out and separated it into piles. I found that most of the stuff in it actually fit in another place in the house. 

Here were my piles:

• tools and related items (electric checker, electric tape, plumbers tape, screwdriver, painters tape, outlet covers).
• office supplies (tape, scissors, notepads, sticky notes, pens, pencils, sharpies, rubber bands, clips, paperclips, packing tape)
• crafty and diy items (drawer hardware)
• batteries and flashlights
• kitchen appliance manuals
• miscellaneous: playing cards, matches, an old phone
• trash (old receipts, small odds and ends, paint chips)

Most of these items actually belong in other places of my house, so evidently we've just been lazy and thrown the little odds and ends in a drawer. With a little more thought, I can actually use these drawers for something more productive or leave them empty. 

All of the tool items go downstairs in a designated space set aside for tools, etc. The office supplies go in the office (that we just cleaned through), the crafty items go in my craft room, the batteries and flashlights go in the basement where there are other batteries, the playing cards go with the games, and the trash goes in the trash. The phone does need to be recycled - unless anyone wants an old LG phone with a pull-out keyboard.

The only things I decided to leave in the drawer were a small flashlight, the kitchen manuals, matches, the clips for food, and scissors for ease of access. 

I did find that most of the stuff in the drawers are items we use or will use so they didn't get thrown away or in the get rid of pile like I'm trying to do with a lot of other items. 

This project took all of 15 minutes and was very productive so there isn't an excuse not to start here. If you have stuff you really don't use throw it away or donate it.

Time Flies

Wow! I started thinking this way all the way back in 2013, and yet, I'm just now really getting into it and understanding it. (It being minimalism).It's crazy how an idea can take hold of us and yet take so long for us to really implement and get it. I re-read my "Beginning" post and realize that many of the same thoughts and same reasons still hold true for me today in my path of minimizing.

But, some things have changed. Primarily the location in which we store our stuff, and hopefully a couple years has given me a more mature perspective.

We moved in 2014 into a new house and left the old house that was beginning to make me feel defeated; granted I'm not sure it was completely the house, but other things happening in life - though I'm sure the house wasn't helping because the location made my allergies crazy.

I'd like to say that we remedied my house concerns completely and moved into one of those crazy tiny houses, but that is not the case. We still have more room than we need, but that's okay, sometimes to be in the location you want you can only go so small. We still have three bedrooms, and gained a half bath, a partially finished basement and a separate office space. But it is more updated and I don't feel like we have the same amount of work, especially since our yard is smaller.

The idea of minimalism stayed with me through and after our move though. I realize looking back that it would have been beneficial to do this before our move. Only by the luck of the moving company screwing up did we manage to get all of our items moved. They were supposed to send a crew that could move the baby grand and didn't. So almost everything but the piano went into that large moving truck. Unfortunately once the first truck was full we still had a little pile left. Luckily since they had to send another truck and crew for the piano we were able to get the rest. I'm pretty sure we still had a car full too.

Looking back, that is really sad to me. We are two people. Why in the world did we/do we need that much stuff? It's so easy to bring stuff in and yet so hard to let it go. (Think about it, even the stupid little free things you receive are often hard to get rid of because you don't want to be wasteful, even though you never asked for the item).

With a job change I've had a little more time to be home  to think about and tackle our "stuff." At first I found myself rearranging and "organizing." I thought I really loved to organize but I realize it just gets messy again, so like the house projects at the previous house, I feel like I never get anywhere. But I'd get so stressed out and frustrated when I thought of letting anything go. I couldn't truly wrap my mindset around it, so I'd just rearrange things.

After talking to a good friend who is on the path of minimalism and reading a book she suggested by The Minimalists, I've finally got the motivation to give it a good try. I'm finally getting the change of mindset I need to move beyond the "stuff."

So, I'm picking up this blog again to detail my progress, offer up my thoughts, offer up my struggles and holdups, and show my successes to hopefully help someone else that is on the verge and just needs a push for a mindset change.

Now, honestly, I have several blogs, and I'm not great at consistently publishing and keeping up with them, so don't expect extremely consistent posts, or you'll just be disappointed - and I don't want that. However, when I get through a project or inspiration hits I will put it right here and hopefully it will help you out. And if you want to talk about what being a minimalist means, get in touch with me and I'll probably just direct you to the book my friend recommended to me. : )

That 12 letter curse word...Student Loans

De-cluttering and simplifying life doesn't end with tangible things but expands to that awful, stress-inducing debt. My student loans are outrageous and I'm not afraid or embarrassed to admit that they are huge. They are what they are and I have three degrees. However, just because I'll be honest about them doesn't mean that they don't cause me panic and a strong desire to throw up. I don't want to be boggled down by them or worry about them for the rest of my life, so we are making a plan.

 I believe that as long as you are intentional about something you can accomplish what you want. For now, we have decided to open a separate bank account that my paychecks will go in. Our student loans will get paid from that money and then any extra in the account will get thrown towards specific loans we choose, to pay them off one at a time. We are going to reevaluate every couple of months to decide which loans to throw extra moolah at. My husbands pay will hopefully cover everything else, but of course should something crazy happen we still have the option of pulling from the other account.

I'm the kind of person who needs the visual. Once something is in my savings account it's off limits and I have a hard time touching it. Doing the same thing with loan payments will hopefully be as beneficial. I will update on how this works as we go along and share any helpful tips. In the meantime I appreciate any ideas others have and what has worked for them.

And just as a bonus and inspiration...I paid off a loan today!! Woohoo, small dent, but still a dent.